Fourteen Years Ago

Is It I?


Darkness falls over the Upper Room. Darkness falls upon our world. But that strange Man with the cup in his hands holds the secrets of the broken hearts of all generations locked in his own. No man need thrust a spear into his side to prove that the love of God is there.

While they were eating, Jesus said, "Truly I say to you, one of you will betray me." As the scene rises on your mind, you become aware that every motion in the room has abruptly ceased. The tension at the table is at the breaking point. The unnatural calm, the "aghast silence" that falls upon the fellowship is the measure of each man's uncompromising knowledge of himself. "and they were very sorrowful, and began to say to him, one after another, 'Is it I, Lord?'" Matthew 26:22  The Dramatic Silences of the Last Week: The Silence at the Table, Webb


As I think about my life and how I desire my light of Jesus to be reflected in the world, I step back and think about being in a room with Jesus. Maybe we are gathered around a table on a roof-top deck, or maybe we are hidden in a cave (I would need to rely on Philippians 4:13 if this were the case because I fear caves). Wherever he is, I want to be there for eternity. I would love to be at his table, and I believe he is with me here, and I will be with him one day in eternity. I am a sinner redeemed. I know that I am not worthy in my mind to be in his presence, so I always say, just to be near and feel his light radiate through me will be much more than I deserve. 

As I read the book, The Dramatic Silences of the Last Week, I must ask myself, "Is it I?," We have all sinned and fall short of the Glory of God. Have we betrayed in some way the Lord we say we serve? To betray is to expose to danger by treacherously giving information to an enemy. How often do we give ourselves over to the enemy of God? Satan desires to see followers of Christ fall through word and deed.

"Is it I?" we ask God. Am I the one who gives Satan the ability to hurt the Ministry of Jesus Christ? Are we allowing Satan to distract the purpose of God through worldly situations that he has under control? We say we trust, but do we?

As a disciple of Christ, we sit at his table, break bread with him, and we drink from his cup. I know what he says to me. I know what I want to say to him. Being in humble silence with the One who Is, is where I find myself more and more; listening, discerning, serving, learning, loving.

Oh, the joys of Jesus!



Jesus by Jonci Jewel Wall